Updated: Feb 18, 2019
Wow. Okay! Here we go.
HEY GUYS … it’s been awhile.
I didn't mean to leave you all hanging.
To be honest, mentally i’m feeling like poo. I really just needed some time to feel bad for myself.
So many new diagnosis and very little brain room to process them all.
I mean, I knew they were coming but for some reason I decided to put them in a box at the back of my brain and not acknowledge their existence.
That’s not me. I don’t do that.
I work through things.
I talk it out.
I cry. (Everybody loves a good cleansing cry.)
Then I get over it.
I move on.
I haven’t cried.
It’s been months.
To be exact it was at my Mayo sendoff on Easter Day.
That was the last time I felt those tiny bubbles glide down my face.
The last time I slurped the tears off my top lip and tasted their saltiness.
I need to cry.
I need to feel tears fall down my face.
I need to release this lake I have trapped inside me.
Hopefully getting back into this world will allow me to work through my thoughts and feel my emotions.
I’m thankful for my spoonie friends who understand the mental process of illness and help me push forward.
I’m thankful for family who have allowed me to wallow in my own self pity.
I’m thankful for my girl Kristen who reminds me that these feelings are raw and relatable; that I shouldn’t hide them…they may help somebody.
I’m thankful for all of you who take the time to read my posts and who have checked in to see how i’m doing.
Now ... let's work on that crying thing.
Remember, "Count your Rainbows, not your Thunderstorms!"