Well, HELLO THERE.
Missed a couple uploads, didn't I?
Just over here being creative in many forms.
Which is of course stripping some blog time. :)
Anyway.
I'm here for a reason.
Today marks my blog being 2 years old.
Can you believe it?!
Nuts.
Bananas.
HERE is my post from two years ago.
You are welcome.
"FUTURE KIRSTEN HERE."
I fully understand how important I am and how worthy I am of all that makes me happy.
I have said goodbye to negative forces that sucked the life out of me.
I feel a million miles stronger mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically then I did two years ago.
I am proud of where I am.
But there is one thing I still really struggle with.
When people ask me what i'm up to or where i'm working I always respond with this answer, "I'm not".
& it isn't true!
& I know it isn't true!
But I can't fucking shake it.
I do lots of things.
I create.
I cook, clean and am the best damn cat mom in the world.
I take care of myself and make sure my health needs are met every single day.
I coach people on healthy living and started working with a couple clients.
I am back in school to become a health coach.
I am an avid reader and writer.
I help fund some beautiful children at a school in Mezcales, Nayarit, Mexico who don't get fed at home and rely on school to be their source of sustenance. (Side note: the Mexican government doesn't offer free and reduced lunches like the US does.)
I support the hell out of my friends and their endevors.
I love my family with my whole damn heart.
I run a blog that is currently being upgraded to a fully functional website with so much more to offer you. (oopppsss...SURPRISE! Happy 2 year anniversary of reading my deepest thoughts.)
The list goes on, right.
I can take it as far as I wish.
But for some reason, in that moment, talking to those people I can't pull it together.
Why can't I express all of these things.
Is it because i'm not being compensated for them so it doesn't feel like enough?
& as a society we tend to mostly recognize transactions that are in exchange of money.
Like our worth is determined by what what is sitting in our bank account, how much money was exchanged for a service or our job title.
Because that...that is bullshit.
I am proud of that whole list.
But feel so insufficient to the outside world.
All because of societal norms.
Which is bat shit crazy.
Now there are times when I am crippled by the thought that i'm not doing enough.
I should read more books.
I should be there with those kids in Mezcales.
I should keep a cleaner house.
I should upload more content to my blog.
I should help more people.
Again, this list can be endless.
I try not to hibernate here long.
Because the longer i'm here in this space, the further away I am from doing more.
I'm pretty damn happy with me right now.
Room for improvement?
Of course. Always.
Not sure how many versions of me the world will see, but there are absolutely more to come.
Engage with me! (If you wish to do it privately, DM me.)
Where do you feel insufficient?
Why do you think that is?
How can you eradicate that thought?
Because that's what it is. Just a thought. It isn't the truth.
I will leave you with my meditation mantra.
"I am enough and I do enough".
Beautiful, isn't it!
xoxo