A wonderful combination, am I right?!
Nah, it's all good.
They are good tears.
Uncontrollable, but good.
I'm going to place the blame on the fact that I haven't been able to be as active today which means a lot more time to think.
Not going to lie, this would normally be an awful pattern of self-destruction for me; one hard to crawl out of. (I didn't get that done today, why can't I just have one good day, did I make dinner for my husband enough times this week, did I connect with family & friends enough, etc. You see the pattern. Balme. Shame. It's all exhausting. & just digs a bigger hole.)
But, I'm in a really good mindset lately.
Probably annoyingly good.
I'm just happy.
Honestly, this is probably the first day I've had in over three months where I had no other choice but to rest my body.
I tried reading.
I tried watching TV & YouTube.
Wasn't going to happen today.
So then I did the most basic "emotional girl" thing I could do.
I headed to Pinterest and read a bunch of inspiring AF quotes. (Don't tell me I'm the only one that does this, we all know that's a lie.)
My mind kept filling with these uncontrollable fits of gratefulness.
Reflection can be a powerful healing tool.
I'm so incredibly thankful for all the people I crossed paths with this year.
I've made some wonderful friends who cheer me on everyday and are genuinely happy for me in everything I do.
I've had Kristen (she's my BFF if you didn't know) who will have all the hard, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversations with me. Thanks, girl!
I've had the privilege to be in the same room as some of the most amazingly intellectual doctors; one of them literally saved my life.
I've had understanding family who has seen my progress and are now choosing to form some of their own healthy habits.
I've had an encouraging husband who has been there to live the process with me and grow himself.
It has honestly, without a doubt, been the best year of my life.
Mentally mostly, but physically too.
SIDE NOTE : Hubs told me I'm the healthiest he has ever seen me. Say what?! That a girl, Kirsten!
I still have aches, pains and issues with my tissues but I also have a new life and the tools to cope with it all.
As Keith keeps saying, "2018 is going to be our year."
Read the quote below. 👇🏼
Powerful, shit huh?
Will always be one of my favorites.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Am I proud of me?
2. Am I authentic?
3. What/who influences what I do and who I am?
4. Do these influences add to my life?
We are constantly being told how to navigate through life and how certain things should make us feel.
I call that a whole lot of bullshit.
I think you should get to choose what makes you happy based on YOUR feelings.
You should choose the components that bring fulfillment to your life.
You are in charge of you; not the advertisements on television, your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your in-laws, your grandparents, your friends, your school, your town & community, etc.
But, don't forget...we still need to respect the thoughts and actions that fulfill other's lives.
We tend to forget that part. & it's a pretty important part. Guilty! 🙋🏼
It is okay to be an outlier.
I like to color outside the lines. (This is not a metaphor.) I like to take marker to paper and color slightly inside or outside the lines. I always have. I love it. People like to inform me I'm not doing it right or it looks messy. But I like messy.
I guess what I'm saying here is, even at 30 I still color outside the lines. I never let anybody else influence what I thought was beautiful.
It took me a long time to get there in other aspects of life. But I did & it's a good life.
Be an "outlier".
Remember, "Count your Rainbows, not your Thunderstorms!"
xoxo Kirsten 💕