Updated: Feb 19, 2019
Spontaneous blogpost powered by me missing my husband.
CAUTION:May be too sappy for some.
However, I hope it helps at least one of you.
I'm in Barcelona, Spain living the dream.
I'm on my own.
Doing it for myself.
I go to the beach when I want.
I eat when I want.
I shower when I want.
& I'm able to be creative with no distractions.
This is one of those creative moments.
While I keep some only to my journal, some as future blogposts or instagram captions, this one needs to word vomit right now.
No distractions make the mind wander into some pretty great spaces of deep thought.
Who am I kidding, I live in the world of deep thought.
Coming here, I thought I was going to miss my cat more than my husband.
Not because I don't love him. Exitthis post if that is where your mind went. BYYYEEE.
I thought that because we have done the long distance thing.
We went for three years seeing each other every 6-8 weeks.
Then we got married and I lived in Missouri essentially on my own for 2 years. Keith was only around 1-2 nights per week.
He spent the majority of his days and nights in Iowa which is why we moved. He was pretty much living with my parents and I was on my own in a town where I knew no one.
I'm used to being on my own.
I like it that way.
While I'm so thankful to be here doing this, I have finally hit the point where I'm missing him.
This is where I am going to be completely honest with you all, okay?
Don't read into it and don't pretend like you've never thought these things before.
No matter how happy we are in any situation; marriage, job, health, friends, etc.
We always want more.
What could make this better.
Does it get any better than this?
Where can I find it?
Our mind is ridiculous.
It can be so harsh.
It's conditioned to want more.
That something is never enough.
We say things like:
I'll be happy when I get that promotion.
I'll be happy when my husband learns to cook dinner for me.
I'll be happy when I can fit into my size 4 jeans.
STOP IT! JUST BE HAPPY NOW!!
You get to choose the way you react to things.
You didn't get that promotion? React by understanding it wasn't your time and there is a purpose for you to fill elsewhere.
Husband still won't cook? Make Wednesday night co-cooking nights. Eventually he will have the tools and knowledge he needs to kick it in the kitchen for you.
Still not in those size 4 jeans? Have fun finding the form of exercise that makes you want to do it everyday. Enjoy the journey with friends.
See, if you just reframe your perspective you can make incredible shifts.
So yes, I miss my husband.
I miss all the annoying things he does.
Hopefully he misses mine too.
I miss his endless chatter about things I don't understand.
It is really easy to miss the things you love about one another.
Unfortunately the things you don't love about one another are what drive people apart.
But, ultimately you get to choose your reaction to every situation.
I know for some, divorce is the right thing.
But if you are struggling to see the good in your relationship, make a list.
I like lists.
Write all the good thingsabout your person on there.
Don't write the bad things.
Our ridiculous minds can come up with too many of those.
Look at those good things everyday.
Repeat them over and over.
Eventually your mind will recognizewhen your person is doing one of the things on that list and your whole system will overflow with dopamine.
You will fall in love with them all over again.
I dare you.
Put your pen to paper.
Write that shit down.
Then show it to them.
Talk about a confidence booster.
I mean honestly, how many times a day do they hear negative emotions from you.
Try switching gears, it will take your relationship much further.
Let them know you see the good.
It will make them do even more good.
Be good to one another.
This post was brought to you by my random iTunes shuffle.
Apparently, you can only use Spotify for 14 days overseas and my time came to an end last night.
So, I opened up iTunes and hit shuffle during my workout this morning.
Every song that came on was, of course, a love song.
I was already missing Hubs, but these songs hit me.
Holy shit, I miss him!
& now after listening to them my heart is kicking around like a child's when they see the cotton candy stand at the fair.
I'm thankful to still feel this way.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like this always.
No relationship is perfect.
There are days when I don't even want to look at him.
But I always love him.
& I always get so excited when feelings like this pound at me.
It's like my own round of applause to a decision I made 4 years ago.
Okay, enough Kirsten.
You love your husband.
We get it.
Here are some of the songs that played.
Listen to them, they will make you remember the things you love about your person.
(They are all linked to YouTube so just click on them.)
Seriously, spend the 16 minutes listening to them.
You will feel refreshed by love.
Isn't music incredible?